Called to Witness

Florida Annual Conference Testimony

I wanted to share with all of you that there was a great deal of success that came from Florida's UMC annual conference last week.  As an annual conference delegate, a gay man, and a fourth-generation United Methodist the vote for Amendment One was a sign of encouragement and progress.  The vote may not have gone our way, but the messages from Conference bear greater fruit than mere numbers.

As someone that spent three days on the floor of the conference talking with clergy, lay delegates, district superintendents, and even a former bishop all were encouraging and cordial.  Even those who opposed our view on Amendment One sought me out before I could find them to discuss and debate, departing as brothers and sisters in Christ though fundamentally diverse in our approach to grace.

On Thursday evening, I sat down with the entire youth delegation to advocate for Amendment One and am pleased to report that it was two youth that joined me on Friday to speak in favor of passage from the bar of the conference.  That's the future of the church, and they are quite persuasive.  If we had been able to move just 100 votes to the affirmative, then we'd have had the majority.  A decade ago, the margin would have been far more vast.

Last year, President Clinton addressed the Democratic National Convention and said people of the world are impressed by "the power of our example, not the example of our power."  The power of our example as a community and a cause will be exemplified by how we respond in temporary setbacks, remaining active in our churches, in leadership, in ministry, and in the clear knowledge that change, however sluggish, will come.

The fire that burned inside John Wesley was and is a loving blaze, not a hateful one.  For every church that bars the door to those who are different, there is one that opens its arms to welcome and exemplify Christ.  For every negative comparison, there is a positive affirmation.  For every defeat, there will be a pending victory.  Because, my friends, that is grace, ever present, never ceasing.  Though evil may challenge and gain ground it is grace that endures.

That's the United Methodist Church.  Those are the people I encountered and worshipped with in Daytona, misguided though some may truly be.  And they are the ones that will transform and grow and one day nurture progress...as they have so many times before.  To me, such realization is the true measure of success.

Blake Garner
Avondale UMC
Jacksonville, Florida

A Florida Prayer for Amendment 1

This prayer was prayed in community prior to the vote and handed out to delegates before the vote. The Florida Team felt that this prayer helped the vote there.

Help us to accept
That ALL MEANS ALL
is just a dream, for this year.

Help us to vote YES anyway
because it will make a statement
for Florida to have as many
YES votes as possible.

Give us courage to take a stand
because it's the right thing to do
because young & old
who feel the unwelcome
are watching us
are waiting to see
how we will vote.

On this historic campus
where segregation was the rule
for 30 years, help us to vote
for justice and joy, one by one.

Help us to extend
the welcome of Jesus
one hand, one heart
at a time.

Florida Team
Called to Witness

Update from Indiana!

We haven't had our Annual Conference yet, but we did get display tables this year! One for PRN, one for Reconciling! We have 100 tickets sold for our Reconciling Dinner, joint effort of Reconciling, MFSA & Progressive. We are excited!

By Marlene Crowder

Persistence and Connection by Julie Arms

I wrote before (here) about Persistence and Connection when it came to telling our stories.  This year I have reached out to 13 individuals for meetings (10 clergy, 3 lay leaders).  Before you think that is excessive, know that some of them were some of my “CTW1” people and some were my GC delegates who voted inclusively.  I have the promise of a meeting with one individual and have had one face to face meeting.  I believe my net result will be 4 face to face meetings and 8 votes for the Amendment; I can’t guess on how many Declarations.

The meeting I had was great.  It was with one of our recently ordained clergy and she was thrilled that someone cared about her thoughts, her views and her votes.  Use this aspect to reach out to your own newly ordained clergy – they DO count and what a way to build a relationship by letting them know that.  When we discussed the Declaration and that it could be signed by small groups, not just congregations, she took multiple copies and said she would make even more to distribute.

The connections you make via CTW are important and lasting when you work to keep them alive.  Today I heard from one of my GC/CTW1 delegates, via his assistant.  Here is where “persistence and connection” come into play.  Last year he’d been the hardest to pin down, never meeting face to face, yet he called me the day before I left for GC, and we spoke on the phone for 45 minutes.  It was worth the wait – he voted inclusively.  The connection remains – here are the words in response to my request to talk to him about his vote on the Amendment: “He also wants you to know that he continues in the same position as when you spoke last summer and he expects, if he can obtain space on the agenda, to speak in favor of the proposed constitutional amendment at Annual Conference this summer.  Most of the clergy that he knows are also in favor of the passing of this amendment.”  And this is in North Georgia - how thrilling is that???  

Be persistent.  Stay connected.  It pays off.

Julie Arms

Clergy want to tell their stories

By Don Hurst

I trained eleven Called To Witness persons to contact and connect with our General and Jurisdictional Conference Delegates and Alternates.  The training went well and they all made their assigned contacts.  I also made some contacts.  What surprised me in making my contacts was the great need which clergy in particular had to tell their own stories. Some of the clergy stories were so good that we asked them to share them at our monthly Grace For All Gatherings.  There was hardly a dry eye among those who heard their amazing stories.  Their stories surprised us all.   I was also surprised to learn from the lay delegates how surprised they were that our UM Churches are often insensitive, inconsiderate, denying and non-supportive to gays and lesbians, their families, friends and partners. So I was surprised by both the stories and the ignorance. Fortunately, we were able to provide a venue to learn together from sharing this information at our monthly gatherings.

Nervous at first

by Jim Lane

“I was nervous about meeting with my delegate, but as soon as I began to tell my story my fears subsided.  I found great strength in telling my story, and the delegate I met with was very receptive.  He listed carefully, shared his viewpoints based on his training and understanding of scripture respectfully, and pledged to work for an inclusive UMC where no one would feel inhospitality.  He stated, “I think God wants us all at the table.”   Obviously, that was a point I whole-heartedly agreed with as a CTW volunteer.  I would encourage anyone who seeks an inclusive UMC to get involved in this effort.”

“As a leader of the CTW effort in SC, our volunteers reported a range of experiences when meeting with delegates.  We experienced everything from the delegate never responding to any communication from a CTW volunteer to wonderful, uplifting conversations.  My opinion is that if anyone going to General Conference was made to question their position on unfair policies toward the GLBT community, or if we got only one person to affirm our (CTW volunteers’) positions on the policies of the UMC, then all our collective efforts were worthwhile.”

Washington St UMC, Columbia SC

Persistence and connection

By Julie Arms

The most important things about CTW are persistence and connection.  I found my delegates to be extremely hard to pin down to meet, yet when we finally spoke, they were extremely open and honest about their views and how they came to them, and in general, receptive to the conversation even if of opposing views.  Stay in touch – via note, speak to them whenever and where ever you see them; remind them of your presence.

Make the connection – it may not be “your delegate” that you spoke to – it might be another or a wife who is receptive or a Jurisdictional delegate or even a random member of another church.  While at GC, I started a friendship with one of our delegates.  From him I gained insight on other delegates, gotten to know him better personally, and even heard that he called me courageous for speaking out on inclusion when he was having an interview with a candidate for ordination! I spoke to a woman in the building next door after GC about what I had done while there.  We’ve had a number of conversations – her son is gay – her pastor was a delegate.  Two weeks ago she told me she’d gone to her pastor and told him that the Church’s stance & decisions made at General Conference have made her son not only feel rejected by the UMC but by Jesus and God as well.  Her pastor was stunned to hear that – he had no idea that was the message being received by his own stance & that of the votes he cast.  Today I was asked by clergy (not currently in a pulpit position) to help him with a project that he is working on to attract people back to the Church that have been hurt by the Church, either directly or via words from the pulpit.  Again, this came about because of CTW.  Don’t ever underestimate how far our stories can reach and the effect they can have on others.

Julie Arms, North Georgia

Good preparation paid off

By Dick Guldi

For my delegate meeting, good preparation paid off. Following suggestions from the CTW team, I rehearsed my stories until honed to just over 2 minutes, practiced with the RMN community and with my wife to get feedback and make improvements, and thought a lot about how to phrase the stories for maximum impact on my delegate.

Although I knew my delegate ahead of time, I researched the issues he was likely to be interested in by talking with other people who know him in different contexts. For example, my delegate is African American,  and I am white. My wife surmised that he might have a thought that advancing the interests of gay people would be one more example of putting African American people behind everyone else.  He, in fact, alluded to this, so I specifically asked him if he thought this. He answered that he did. It came to me in this discussion to say that when one group is denigrated, all groups are oppressed, and that all of us need to work together supporting each other’s interests. This led him to mention that RMN appears to African Americans as another predominantly white organization, an input I fed back to our leadership team, and now we have actions to address this. I also asked for his help in identifying minority persons sympathetic to our cause enough to join us, and said that I would personally take responsibility to invite them to our meetings and makes sure they are fully included. I was delighted to tell my delegate that his suggestions had been internalized at the top planning levels of RMN, and he appeared pleased.

I was prepared to answer the question of what I would specifically like to see changed in the Discipline. I kept the answer simple, saying that I wanted for us to eliminate the incompatibility clause in Paragraph 161G that says the practice of homosexuality is contrary to Methodist teaching and I wanted to change the wording that was used by the Judicial Council in Decision 1032 to allow ministers to reject homosexuals from church membership. I said that there were other issues that needed to be changed but didn’t dwell on them, thinking that my message needed to be brief and our other visions would follow from that.

Overall, I was surprised and pleased that my delegate was already sympathetic to my position, but he needed to talk about his feelings to better sort out what he really believed and what he feared in the back of his mind. When he expressed a fear, I repeated it back in the manner of active listening so he could come to grips with whether he really believed that. Simply listening to what someone says and repeating it back without judgment or arguments is a wonderful technique for helping people get past lingering prejudices and doubts. I was thrilled to see how well this worked, not only in this meeting but in others since then.

The delegate meeting was an invigorating experience for me. It felt wonderful to be part of a well organized group striving for human dignity in a cause that will ultimately prevail.  Being a CTW volunteer is an opportunity of a lifetime.

Relationship-building takes time

By Rev. Laurie Hays Coffman

Tiffany told us that this was not a one-time deal, that it was relationship-building and would take time.  She told us that it was not a debate to win, not a point to prove, not even a convert to brag about.  She said that we were building trust as listeners who come to learn of the other's perspective and not just to convince them to take up OUR cause. She said not to assume that we already knew both their position and the reasons for it. She said this is relational work.

But still my presumptions persisted.  I dreaded the work of trying to get my folks to let go of their old tired theological stance and adopt my more progressive one.  I felt like a door-to-door salesman when I pondered the work before me. I don't like door-to-door salesmen.  I'll never be one.

The gentle nudges kept coming.  Tiffany persevered in asking how it was going. Had we made the first contact yet. No. Had we spoken face-to-face. No. Could we report on how the delegates responded. No. I do believe in the cause of full inclusion in the church as a justice issue.  I talk about it all the time, to practically anyone who is willing to engage with me. I even confronted my entire GC'08 delegation for their failure to stand in solidarity with the outcasts on the last Thursday in Fort Worth.  But trying to work upstream with my busy district superintendent and the obviously overwhelmed assistant to the bishop.... Just asking for an appointment on their frantic schedule seemed daunting.

After numerous nudges from tenacious Tiffany, I found the opportunity.  One was "running for bishop" and the other probably will someday soon. As a Reconciling United Methodist, I hold some key bits of information. They needed ME, I determined, in order to connect with the rest of the church!

Finally, after assuming like I would probably be dragging them forward with their heels dug in, I relented and risked calling.  This time I was offering myself as a support person to help "hear another to his own truth."  I volunteered to listen to the ways this moderate and Godly man, seeking the opportunity to serve in the episcopacy, would be telling his story and answering the questions. 

He was grateful for my service, believing that I, the outspoken progressive, did indeed have much to offer his candidacy.  We met for breakfast in his city and I learned his tender heart and wise mind held much more acceptance than I would have imagined.  I realized that his words had been few regarding LGBTQ matters in the church because he was ... afraid.  Anxious conservatives hold a deathgrip on many people in our church, I believe.  They threaten to boycott, banish, leave, defund, overturn, and otherwise upset the UMC if anyone in power frightens their fundamental stability.  My CTW partner needed not to trigger their anxiety and wrath. I could help.

Together we crafted verbiage that helped him to sidestep booby traps while maintaining integrity.  He found ways to speak authentically of his compassion and desire for just treatment of all -- without sounding too leftist.  We pondered "a third way" of being Christian when challengers from right and left demanded to know if he was "with us or ag'in' us."  I believe that it was my call to help him claim the fullness of his Christian experience and not have to shelve some parts in order to be electable.

That breakfast meeting got truncated by other appointments, but he eagerly asked for another opportunity to continue our conversation.  So we met again at his request.  And the Spirit gave birth to freedom and new insights for both of us!

At the Jurisdictional Conference, my Called to Witness conversation partner thanked me repeatedly for the compassionate counsel I gave as he was able to think through many past and prospective dilemmas that snag moderates.  He promised that, regardless of the outcome of that election, we would continue to be in dialogue. 

It seemed good to the Spirit and the Jurisdiction to make him an episcopal leader for the UMC. Thanks be to God for the surprising fullness of truth able to thrive in non-anxious relationships. And thanks to Tiffany&Team for pushing us to trust the process, the Spirit, ourselves.  Respectful relationships afford us abundance of wisdom and shape us in the image of God.